Bah! Humbert

Noble steeds

2011-04-22T09:33:00.001+01:00

Our noble steeds, a photo by humbert15 on Flickr.

Elegant in their simplicity, no? (I'm talking about bicycles, not my photographs. I wish...)

I wouldn't lean too hard...

2011-04-17T23:24:00.001+01:00

I wouldn't lean too hard..., a photo by humbert15 on Flickr.

It's been a very long time... No apologies but perhaps a slight suspicion that the lean times may be on their way out. But I'm probably only saying that because there's a lean work time looming and I'm looking for ways to fill my days.

My beautiful kids

2010-10-15T19:56:00.001+01:00

My beautiful kids heading for school
Originally uploaded by humbert15

That Davros mask really is quite unsettling isn't it?

New chainrings

2010-09-29T19:31:00.001+01:00

New chainrings etc
Originally uploaded by humbert15

I can't remember how well this function of linking directly from a Flickr page to a Blogger page works. So let's try it with this semi-random (but still quite pleasant, no?) shot of my gleaming new chainrings. I completely understand that this may not elicit quite the feelings of excitement and bike-nerd thrillage in some people as it does in me, but hey! Do I care?

Low tide sunset

2010-09-16T14:17:00.002+01:00

Another shameful delay between postings, for which I can only apologise to you, my imaginary reader. By way of making amends, here's a photo I took the other day while out walking my new lens, a Nikkor 50mm f1.4. It was the wrong lens for the job really - something wider would have resulted in images with a bit more scale I think - but hey, I'm not complaining. I really like the results.

The agony & the ecstasy

2010-05-31T17:47:00.003+01:00

This picture just about sums up the family fairground experience I think. It's all here: one child ecstatic while the other teeters on the edge of a nervous breakdown, garish colours, confusion, needless and excessive expenditure... What more could a parent want? I'd like to add that no child was psychologically or physically harmed in the making of this picture. If only I could be certain that were the case...

Formidable festival lady

2010-05-22T19:27:00.004+01:00

I went to the St Anne's Well Festival today, a civilised riot of middle-class families pretending they're a bit younger and freer than they really are. You couldn't see the well-manicured lawns for all the tartan picnic rugs and changing mats everywhere. There was cava, there was knitted fruit (I kid you not), there was even a kids' rave tent, complete with nodding DJ and Joe Bananas-style tent next door selling Haribos and sugary drinks by the gallon. The sun shone and the mums and dads kicked back, happy to let the kids run amok for a bit in the hope of a peaceful night later. When this rather formidable lady walked past us I grabbed the camera and shot her without thinking - which is most unlike me actually, I'm usually consumed with self-conscious reserve. I'm glad I got her though - and I'm even more glad she didn't see me getting her.

I'm a sucker for a nice shadow

2010-05-20T14:21:00.003+01:00

I can't resist a nice bit of shadow play. And that's a nice colour too - maybe one to bear in mind when (if?) I get round to painting our front door.

The front door has needed a coat of paint for about seven years now. I've resolved to do it at least a dozen times in each of those seven years and, of course, it remains unpainted.

This year though...I can feel it. It's really going to happen this year.

Neglect is a terrible thing

2010-05-18T18:58:00.005+01:00

Perhaps that's not the wisest title to use for a post about a picture of ones daughter, but it's not her who's being neglected, it's this blog. It's suffering for a variety of dreary reasons that don't deserve the time of day but rest assured, army of loyal readers, it won't always be this way.

This shot was taken at my nephew Tom's 18th birthday celebration (strictly speaking, I think it was about the 18th celebration he'd taken part in but let's cut the lad some slack for crying out loud). In every single shot of Tom that I've taken he's pulling this ridiculous cheesy grin face - the sort of face you wouldn't want to inflict on anyone without fair warning, so I'm not going to give it any webspace this time. Let's focus instead on the delightful Marni, resplendent in Oliver! outfit, as she eats something or other in front of a mirror.

Mosher

2010-04-30T20:21:00.003+01:00

I went out with my nephews last night to see Black Rebel Motorcycle Club do their thing. The real occasion was young Tom's eighteenth birthday - which makes me feel very odd whenever I think about it. Surely it was only five minutes ago when he clung onto my leg, balancing on my foot as I walked through his house...

Anyway, the gig was excellent, both because the band really know what they're doing and because the moshpit was full of eager young bloods who liked nothing more than to throw themselves at each other with large smiles on their faces. The bouncer at the front was none too pleased but this only served to fuel their enthusiasm and it was a genuine delight to witness such exuberance - except when I was showered in beer or barged forcefully into the people behind me. This bloke was particularly crazy.

Healthy food porn

2010-04-28T17:59:00.004+01:00

Preparations for this blooming bike ride have completely taken over my life (what do you mean 'what bike ride?' where have you been?!) I've found it very hard to sustain anything else and this blog has definitely suffered as a result.

Still, there's always combining the two things isn't there? This shot is of some date and nut energy bars I made the other day when it dawned on me how much I'm spending on the shop-bought variety. In truth I don't expect huge savings - these are way too more-ish to be saved just for bike rides - but they're completely delicious, packed full of good things and, more to the point, rather photogenic too.

Curious cyclist

2010-04-12T13:58:00.002+01:00

I passed this curious thing on a monster bike ride at the weekend. I'd cycled so far that I was beginning to feel slightly delirious so the sight of this object as I rounded a corner near Goodwood House was disconcerting to say the least. Turns out it was part of a large outdoor sculpture exhibition.

I only had my phone with me but I think the shot's come out quite well. Some subjects are so downright arresting that they don't need to be shot with great technical wizardry.

Easter kids

2010-04-07T23:23:00.003+01:00

There's too much going on in life at the moment! I'm struggling to keep up with the blogs and the training and the work and the rest of it! So, in haste, here's a shot of the kids taken during the Easter weekend, which we spent with my parents in Dover. It was the kind of perfect weekend that feels like a real gift these days. Life is so full and complicated and my parents are getting on a bit, so carving out some time when it's just us and them and lots of food feels like such a precious treat.

Nice try...

2010-03-26T18:25:00.004Z

I thought this shot had enormous potential but I fear it falls a bit short. I was about 15 miles into a long training ride this morning when I spotted this view of the Seven Sisters park from a hill above Alfriston. It looked rather lovely - considerably more so than it does in this rather lacklustre shot. Then I saw the mirror and thought I might be able to position myself in the shot, together with the rather lovely farmhouse behind me, to create something quite interesting. But I don't think it works really.

Ah well, you'll just have to take my word for it - it was lovely out there today.

Vegan dog?!

2010-03-18T12:00:00.004Z

I spotted Heather Mills doing a cookery demonstration outside the Churchill Centre in Brighton yesterday. I've never really had a very strong opinion either way on her but I confess I was taken aback when she told the crowd about her vegan dog. This seemed so far outside the realms of the reasonable that I was looking for any signs that she might be joking but trust me when I tell you there was not the tiniest hint of humour anywhere near her.

A vegan dog...it boggles the mind so completely that I really don't know what else to say on the subject.

A shadow of my current self

2010-03-16T19:34:00.004Z

I took this shot doing about 17mph on the A281, which on reflection was a very silly idea. There was quite a bit of traffic about and I wasn't paying much attention to the stuff you really ought to pay attention to as a cyclist. But I need lots of generic cycling pictures to go with my road.cc blog so needs must and all that - and I do quite like the outcome.

Family portrait

2010-03-10T17:26:00.004Z

Here we all are, strolling towards the King Alfred Leisure Centre for some Sunday morning family leisure - specifically a swim, followed by a walk home again, then a bargain lunch of some description.

I know this is going off the point a bit in relation to a shadow family portrait, but I remember when we used to go for two or three Sunday pub lunches a month and not worry too much about the finances. We were able to buy little treats here and there - we even went for the occasional foreign holiday!

But not any more, oh no. The freelance lifestyle has put paid to that. It seems we can't be happy and comfortably off. This is almost certainly not the case at all, of course, but it certainly feels like it at the moment. So maybe the photo isn't off the point at all - maybe we're a shadow of our former selves. Or something.

Anyway, we had a splendid time in the swimming pool and whatever the lunch was it was jolly tasty, so all's well really.

Extreme reading

2010-03-07T19:18:00.003Z

Schools these days! What are they like? Marni was asked to come into school tomorrow with photographic evidence that she had practised 'extreme reading' over the weekend. So of course I parked her in the middle of a usually-busy road and snapped furiously for a second or two before yanking her out of harm's way. I shudder to think what less responsible parents might have encouraged their children to do. Reading on the railway? On that death-defying up 'n' over ride at the end of the pier? In the sea? Outside some dodgy nightclub at chucking out time?

I wonder if we've misunderstood the brief...

Maisie, Cecil & Jazz

2010-03-02T12:46:00.007Z

Maisie, Cecil and Jazz...there are three names to conjure with. There's a trend to embrace some of the names that were popular in the first half of the twentieth century - I know of kids called Mabel, Alfie, Esme and Hardy - but I bet it'll be a while before Cecil hits the top ten again.

A big part of me hopes Jazz was Cecil and Maisie's avant garde offspring, who left Hove as soon as he was able to for the bright lights of Paris or Berlin and became a drug-addled artist of ill repute.

I suspect the truth is more likely to be that Jazz was a Yorkshire terrier whose dreams rarely extended beyond catching squirrels in St Anne's Well Gardens, where you'll find this plaque.

Gloves

2010-03-01T18:56:00.004Z

I've been struggling to find the perfect pair of winter cycling gloves. I realise this isn't everyone's idea of a fascinating topic for discussion on a blog or anywhere else, but you'd be surprised! I addressed this important issue on my road.cc blog and it attracted more comments than anything else I've posted. And before you say anything rude about no one taking any notice of my blog, let me add that it was today's most discussed item on the whole site (which quite surprised me as it goes but there we are). So perhaps you're the boring one for not thinking it's interesting. Bet you hadn't considered that had you?

Enigma - new object of lust

2010-02-27T18:43:00.006Z

I've just realised I didn't add any photos from my visit to the Enigma workshop last week. Enigma make beautiful bikes - they made my beautiful bike - traditionally from titanium, although they recently started making steel bikes too. The reason for the visit was that I'm writing a profile article about them for the CTC magazine, but the real reason was to lust after all those gorgeous bikes and learn a bit about how they're made. It was a fascinating morning - who knew that TIG welding could be interesting? And I emerged with a new object for my bike lust, the Extensor, a drop-dead gorgeous steel framed beauty that I'm told rides as well as it looks - and as you'll see from the linked photo (not the rather poncey detail shot above), it looks pretty good. But then for around £3K, it should really shouldn't it?

Hot Chip

2010-02-27T14:31:00.004Z

I love Hot Chip. Their gigs are so joyful and uncomplicated. And their music is surprisingly rewarding for something that sounds at first listen like little more than pleasant pop. According to Last.fm they're my second favourite band, after Boards of Canada, and I'm not sure that isn't what you might call an historic anomaly (do you like the AN there? I thought you would). I think they might actually be my favourites these days - and that's something I've always found it almost impossible to pin down before. At least since I was a spotty teenager madly in love with AC/DC.

But I digress. I went to the Brixton Academy last night with my brother and watched Hot Chip do their geeky, funky, soulful thing. The sound was pretty poor, but the vibe was right on the button. This shot was taken during the show's climax - an encore of Ready For The Floor. It was utterly euphoric and completely fantastic.

Mischievous girl

2010-02-25T23:19:00.004Z

Honestly, this girl will be the death of us. The other day she went ominously quiet for a few minutes - just a few minutes is all it took. Next thing you know she's administered a DIY haircut on her fringe with a pair of nail scissors. The following day we receive an emergency walkie-talkie call from Oskar around bedtime. He reports that she's sitting in bed eating a pack of his M&Ms, bold as brass! When challenged she said she didn't know they were Oskar's. Oh well that's alright then...

These are just a couple of several minor irritations for which she's been responsible over the past week or so and to be honest the temperature was rising a bit. So it was kind of timely that there was a gas leak at her school two days ago and we ended up spending a day together, just the two of us. There was a gorgeous sun-kissed break in the horrible weather (don't get me started on the weather), so we headed for the seafront with bike, picnic and camera.

We had a great time and are now officially best mates again. I'm going to miss these days when she grows up.

Party flier

2010-02-23T10:44:00.005Z

My very first flier (is it flier or flyer? I never know), courtesy of my artistic brother - thanks PT. There's a lot riding on this party - no pun intended - as I'm still a very long way away from my fund-raising target for the big bike ride this summer. So far I have just 13 confirmed guests so there may have to be a bit of a publicity drive some time soon. No need to panic just yet though I suppose.

It would be foolish of me not to include a link to my Virgin Money Giving page under the circumstances, don't you think?

Busker Marni

2010-02-12T18:17:00.004Z

Marni is currently obsessed with 'African drums', which I think is a good thing on balance - at least for as long as we don't actually have any in the house. I think she saw a demonstration of some sort at school and is now convinced it is her mission in life to drum sense into the world.

So it was with no small measure of delight that she spotted this busker on our way to the Pavilion for a sound recording school assignment of Oskar's (which is another story entirely). After staring rather rudely at the chap for a good five minutes, Marni was asked to join him for a ... what? a duet? a jam? I don't know what you'd call it but I do know how much she enjoyed it. Needless to say, the busker assured me she's a natural - but I had just given him a quid.

Portraits for sponsorship

2010-02-04T17:49:00.006Z

As I believe I may have mentioned before, this summer I’ll be taking part in The Race Against Time, a six-day bike ride from Land’s End to John O’Groats.

There are two significant challenges associated with this: cycling 140 miles or more every day for six days, and raising £2000 for the Bishop Simeon Trust, the race charity.

In some ways the fund-raising challenge is harder. Once you’ve hassled your friends and family a few times and still find yourself with just a few hundred pounds pledged, it’s time to come up with other ways of raising the cash.

One of the ways I’d like to do it is by offering a photographic portrait service. I’ll take a photo of you – or your kids, or your dog – and get it professionally printed and framed for you.

You’ll see one of my portraits I’ve done on this page (thanks to Sarah for letting me use it as an example).

For this service I’ll charge a fee of £15, plus the printing and framing costs. To be clear, every penny I receive beyond the printing and framing costs will go towards my sponsorship target.

The printing & framing costs will vary depending on what size print you want in what kind of frame but the starting cost can be as low as £10. So you could have a professionally framed (albeit amateurishly shot) portrait hanging on your living room wall for just £25! Bargain!

Of course if you feel inclined to donate more than £15 towards my sponsorship I won’t stop you.

Finally, if you’re not interested in getting a portrait done but you’d still like to support my ride, you can make a contribution on my Virgin Money Giving page.

Thanks for reading this. If you’d like to chat about having a portrait done, leave a comment on this blog and I’ll be in touch.

Hell on earth

2010-01-16T19:37:00.004Z

I remember when Toys R Us represented the closest thing to hell on earth that Hove had to offer.

We used to dread going there so much that we almost never did. It wasn't the rampaging kids charging around the place; it wasn't the prospect of spending too much money on tat that would fall apart within a week; it wasn't even the deadness you saw in the eyes of everyone who works there or the bored terror in the eyes of all those parents.

No, it was the indecision - Oskar could never decide what to buy with his pocket money. Unless we'd identified something specific before setting off we would all be condemned to a nightmarish hour or more during which his frustration and uncertainty and confusion would steadily grow to the point that he would burst into tears of desperation and become incapable of speech, never mind narrowing down a shortlist of 14 toys.

So it was with some trepidation that I took both kids there today. To make matters worse we set off at around 11.30 - a classic time for blood sugar levels to start dipping, tempers to shorten and decision-making capabilities to evaporate. We had to be back by 12.15 at the latest too, to give us enough time for lunch before he went to a birthday party at 1.00. So, some time pressure and pre-socialising butterflies to add to the mix.

It was a recipe for disaster - but there was no disaster! Miraculously, both kids were happy to wait in parts of the shop that didn't interest them while their sibling scanned the shelves. Marni decided quickly that she was going to buy the largest toy dog I believe I've ever seen. His name's Sammie and you can see him here. He's so huge that a cull of soft toys was required to accommodate him in Marni's over-stuffed bedroom.

Meanwhile Oskar was waiting patiently for his turn and finding it tricky to decide but there was no agitation, just careful thought. Eventually he chose a discounted Wii game that probably involves a bit too much violence, strictly speaking, but I was so relieved he'd decided that I was prepared to look the other way for once.

Post-Christmas family lunch

2010-01-14T17:23:00.003Z

I wasn't paying an awful lot of photographic attention when we spent the day with my brother and his family and my sister with hers on 2 January. I think we were having too much fun. But I did take a few photos and I think this one's my favourite - mainly from a compositional point of view. I like the symmetry created by Marni and Amanda's body angles and the snacks/drinks they're holding. I kind of wish one of them was in focus but hey, we can't have everything we want in life.

It's also a nice reminder that Marni has enthusiastically embraced the idea of dressing up for special occasions. She spent most of the Christmas season in this suit, handed down by her brother last year. When she goes out she adds a rather fetching cap - one of those rather blousey flat caps, if you get my drift. It makes her look like something out of Oliver! and is unspeakably endearing.

New year's day on the pier

2010-01-14T08:22:00.007Z

I've just realised I've not posted here this year! Shockingly bad form. There's another blog taking my attention at the moment (on road.cc, about my big bike ride) but that's no excuse. I might find a few more photos to add today to make up for it.

In any case, this was taken on the pier on new year's day. We have a tradition of meeting up with friends and drinking beer on that day each year. We're usually nursing thunderous hangovers but this year was different. This year Madge and I spent new year's eve together on our own, just watching telly and eating rather indulgent party food from M&S - it felt right to do that for a change. The usual model of trudging off to some party or other just didn't appeal. For a few years now new year's eve has been a disappointment - there's too much partying in December to go for a big blow-out right at the end of the month. Perhaps we're getting old - perhaps we're growing up.

It was a beautiful day this year - as it often is. We walked to the pier, drank a few pints of Guinness in the pub whose name I always forget, ate fish and chips, then walked home again, ready and eager to begin January's healthier regime. No booze, healthy food and more exercise: the degree to which this appealed speaks volumes about how overdue it was.

Christmas in Sheffield

2009-12-31T12:15:00.002Z

We spent Christmas in Sheffield and had a splendid time hanging out with the in-laws, eating their food, doing our best to empty their wine rack and generally having a self-indulgent time. We had snow on Christmas day, which was a real treat, only slightly marred by the fact that we'd lived through several days of icy, snowy conditions before we travelled up so there was no novelty to it. There are countless (well, 60) festive photos on my Flickr pages but I decided to post this one here precisely because it's not a Christmas picture. We went to a panto at the City Hall on 27/12 (Cinderella, since you're asking) and found a rather incongruous bunch of fairground rides outside, squeezed into a relatively small area. There was a large spinning swinging thing you can't see in this shot that came within just a few feet of the side of the building every time it swung one way, and about the same from some cables when it went the other. I'm sure it was all very safe but it certainly didn't look it...

The big freeze

2009-12-19T23:34:00.002Z

Can it really be nearly a week since I last posted? Good Lord...

Brighton has been hit by a lot of weather lately as I've mentioned in previous posts but this weekend we really struck the jackpot with two days of proper snow and barely an overnight thaw between them to ruin it all. Actually, that's nonsense, we've actually had just one night and half a day of snow, it's just stuck around for longer than it usually does so it feels like we're in the Alps all of a sudden.

I've been out seeking nice photos, obviously, and you can see the fruits of my labour over on my Flickr pages. Capturing the one you can see here was a perilous affair. In order to get the sunset colours in the background I had to climb onto the bench of one of the seafront shelters and cling onto a protruding design feature (I think it was some kind of flower) with one hand while operating the camera with the other. As I stepped onto the bench my foot slipped in the snow and ice and I very nearly did a dramatic lunge into the shelter that would certainly have ended in tears - particularly as I was unfortunate enough to go completely arse over tit last night on my way to a boozy Christmas party. My legs went from under me and I landed heavily on my back, which wasn't much fun (even though I'm sure it was actually quite amusing to watch) and left me with a very tender back, so the last thing I wanted today was another injury. Ah, the things we do for our art...

Come on in!

2009-12-13T22:48:00.003Z

Perhaps it was the imminence of my 46th birthday that prompted me to pause by the entrance of a local graveyard the other night to capture this delightfully cheery image. There's something about the circle being broken by the open gate and the blackness beyond that really grabbed me - rather to the bemusement of the several passing pedestrians who peered past me to try and figure out what I was looking at.

For someone who's spent so much time over the past decade thinking about death (long story - perhaps for another day) I dwell on it remarkably rarely when it comes to any kind of creative outlet. I don't read about it, I don't write about it and I don't usually take photos inspired by it. Perhaps that's because I'm scared of it and, like the small child who will cover their face when found doing something naughty so they won't be seen, I'm hoping that it will leave me alone if I leave it alone.

Festive Coopers

2009-12-10T23:37:00.004Z

There I was sitting in the Coopers Cask tonight with my mate Simon, when suddenly my photographer's goggles slipped over my eyes and I realised that the window we were sitting next to actually looked rather lovely with its condensation and it's forlorn little Christmas baubles backlit by the streetlights on Farm Road. So I whipped out the Ricoh and snapped it without a second thought.

One of the most annoying things about the creative process - and Lord knows there are many of them - is the certain knowledge that one is constantly surrounded by potential sources of inspiration, but that one only sees them when the muse deigns to give you a glance. Pah! to the muse I say! Why can't I see them all the time?

Chilly pigeons

2009-12-08T18:48:00.005Z

The weather has been so relentlessly crap for the past few weeks that I'm beginning to forget what the sun looks like. We've had the wettest November in the history of mankind and December looks like it's going to do its best to get into the record books as well. It's also cold and grey and I have a cold. Meh.

But of course there are always photo opportunities and I spotted this lot perched in a tree above the faux well in St Ann's Well Gardens near where I live, huddled against the cold and looking as miserable as I felt trudging past them.

I suppose there's some comfort in the old maxim about there always being someone worse off than you - and sure enough the thought of not having to sit naked on a spindly branch on a cold December afternoon, feeling the rain seep into every orifice and the wind trying to dislodge me even as it was making the rain feel even colder somehow cheered me up no end.

Ah, the power of positive thinking.

Christmas lights

2009-12-05T12:18:00.002Z

I had the wrong camera with me when I took this shot (there I go blaming my tools again), but the point 'n' shoot did a reasonable job of capturing the Christmas lights in the North Laine yesterday. What I really needed was the Nikon with a fast telephoto of the type I'll probably never be able to afford, and ideally a tripod too. I wonder if I'll ever turn into that kind of photographer. A fairly large part of me sincerely hopes not - the paraphernalia and the patience and the perfectionism are all a bit beyond me I think. But oh how I'd love to come up the sort of images that all those Ps produce...

Puddle

2009-12-03T14:04:00.004Z

In a rare moment of calm during the recent downfalls I went for a stroll on the seafront and found lots of puddles where you don't normally find them. I grabbed some nice reflection shots but this was the one that I kept going back to for some reason. I think it's the shape of the wooden kerb that I like - and in particular its reflection in the edge of the water.

I'd view it large (by clicking on the image)...

Sea, sun, bird

2009-11-29T00:36:00.003Z

There's been nothing fabulous enough to post with pride over the past few days so you'll have to make do with this, taken the other day on a squally seafront. There's something about a stormy day that really makes me relish the prospect of heading out with my camera but the results are, more often than not, disappointing. Trying to photograph big waves is rather like trying to capture a rainbow - easy enough to commit to a photograph but borderline impossible to make interesting. Anyway, take it from me, this looked brilliant in the flesh.

The disco shoes are dead

2009-11-22T15:34:00.004Z

The worst possible news: my disco shoes are damaged beyond repair. They have finally shuffled off their final dancefloor. They are dead.

I bought them about 15 years ago, when spending £125 on a pair of frivolous clubbing shoes seemed the height of good sense. It was a time when Rach and I spent most of our free time clubbing - when we would devote entire weekends to the ritualistic preparation for, attendance at and recovery from parties. It was a very special time in my life that I will always remember with great fondness.

So it's all the more upsetting that one of the few material links back to those fun-filled times has finally given up the ghost. They went out in style though - I wore them to a party last night that was filled with more laughter and lunacy than any 45 year-old retired raver has any right to expect. Towards the end of a very confusing night I noticed that something wasn't quite right and inspected my left shoe, only to find a gaping hole where the heel should have been, with the black sole flapping about like an ill-fitting toupee in a stiff breeze. As I trudged home through the rain-sodden streets of Hove in the early hours of this morning I reflected on how much fun I've had in these shoes and how I'm never going to buy anything like them again.

When those shoes died, a little part of me went with them. This is a sad day.

Size four and a half on the Lawns

2009-11-16T22:46:00.006Z

I saw this discarded shoe (size four and a half) impaled on a post at the western end of The Lawns yesterday and it sparked off a rather brilliant thought process, even if I say so myself. I'm beginning to think there may be some mileage in the idea of tracking down enough discarded women's clothing to make up a whole outfit. I could then open a little boutique called something like Wardrobe Trouvée and sell them on for vast sums of money. If there's a flaw in my plan - and that's a big 'if' there because I think this is a winner - it's the time it might take to find enough stock. It has, after all, been several weeks since I found the other item, this bra. But I might be able to turn this into a selling point. I might be able to convince the sort of vapid halfwit who might shop in such a boutique that their scarcity makes my items that much more valuable. This could be my big moment! Does anyone have Paris Hilton's mobile number?

Stormy Saturday

2009-11-14T23:33:00.004Z

Last night we were warned by those sages at the Met Office that there might be a storm today and for once they were right. It wasn't quite as biblical as they feared it might be but the wind was strong enough to drive the rain into my face so hard I had to change direction this morning as I walked towards the seafront. The wind was funnelled along the street I was walking along and the rain felt like multiple pin-stabs on my forehead - really painful. I briefly wondered whether it would have been quite so intense if I'd had a bit more hair but figured there was no point dwelling on that one. Obviously this wasn't the only shot I took. There are loads more on Flickr.

Fishfingers, chips and mushy peas

2009-11-14T10:57:00.003Z

I had lunch with Madge in the pub yesterday. My choice was fishfingers, chips and mushy peas with a homemade tartar sauce. I had high hopes because this was the Earth & Stars in Brighton and they do know how to make a good lunch, but they outdid themselves yesterday.

The fishfingers were more like delicious stubby little fishthumbs with a hint of tarragon, the chips were thick and crispy on the outside and fluffy within, the mushy peas were minty and mouthwatering and the sauce was just right, piquant enough to make a difference but not overwhelming. To wash it down I had a pint and a half of Arundel Ale, which is a gorgeously nutty dark beer that never gets cloying in the way some of those winter-warmers do.

All told it was a triumph, and if your mouth isn't watering by now I would suggest you have some kind of eating disorder.

Cheap jumpers

2009-11-10T22:27:00.004Z

It's odd how I can walk through Brighton on one day with a camera and come home completely empty-handed and depressed and then take the same camera around the same route the following day and return with a memory card bulging with promising shots. Odd and rather frustrating.

Saturday was a thumbs up day. I was with the family and we were on a bit of a mission but I seemed to see nothing but photogenic gorgeousness all around me. Perhaps it's because I was in a hurry. Perhaps I only thought I saw loads of good shots but walked away happy because I didn't have the time to stop and make a concerted effort to make the most of any of them. This leads me to think I might be able to guarantee my most satisfying photographic experience ever by leaving my camera at home and just ambling around muttering incessantly about marvellous light and shadow play.

I'll mull that one over. In the meantime, here's a snatched shot that I really like of a clothes rail in the North Laine area. Marvellous light and shadow play, no?

The old and the new

2009-11-08T17:14:00.003Z

I'm not built for all-nighters any more really, but unfortunately that doesn't stop me staying up all night every now and then. Last night was just such an occasion I'm afraid - I finally hit the sack around 5am after nearly 12 hours of brandy, cava, wine, beer and bourbon, far too much talking and lots of rich food. Just three hours later I was woken by the sound of Lionel, one of my partners in crime last night, chatting to my kids downstairs. I toyed with the idea of rolling over and going back to sleep but figured that would be a bit rude so I sprang from my bed like a young gazelle and skipped daintily down the stairs for a bucketful of coffee which made no discernible difference to the MONSTROUS hangover I now realised I had.

The occasion was a mini Old Dovorian reunion (that's a mini reunion, not a reunion of diminutive former schoolmates), one of whom - Debbie - is celebrating her birthday today. So we had our excuse to carouse til the small hours and carouse we duly did, Debbie, her husband Garry, their son Fred (all pictured above), Lionel, Margo, Sara and me. It was utterly splendid but completely over the top and as a result I seriously don't think I'm ever going to drink again.

Enough empty promises already. What I really wanted to say about the whole thing is that it was a pure delight to spend more time catching up with old school friends and simultaneously making new ones. And that's all I wanted to say - or more accurately it's all I can bring myself to say right now. I may edit this when I've recovered from my current rather pitiful state. Over and out. Bleurgh.

Fireworks

2009-11-07T11:32:00.003Z

It's hard to avoid taking your camera along to firework displays - almost as hard as it is coming up with anything remotely original once you get there. I quite like this one because it was 'made' rather than just snapped. It was a conscious effort to capture a distant explosion against a foreground of other, closer explosions and some spectators and buildings for context.

I took about 120 shots that night and ended up with fewer than 20 useable ones thanks to a nearby streetlight that I didn't notice at all when we were there, but which leaked light into most of my shots. Good job it was just a bit of fun and nothing important...

Catfight brewing

2009-11-04T22:48:00.003Z

I've been a bit disappointed by the photos I brought back from Spain. I think most of them were average snapshots. But I'm also aware that I have a tendency to be a little hard on myself, to the point where I'll actually stop doing something - poetry springs to mind - because I don't think I cut the mustard at it. Whether I do or not is entirely irrelevant of course. What matters is enjoying it, first and foremost, but also working at it, not giving up on it, improving because of it. I need to watch this tendency of mine - it's dangerous.

Anyway, I stumbled upon these three while out for a stroll in La Herradura. They were squaring up for a proper scrap I think, but who knows? Maybe they worked it out as soon as I'd disappeared...

He's the greatest dancer

2009-11-03T09:25:00.003Z

A moment of triumph for our mate Archie as he holds aloft his prize for winning the best dancer competition at the Halloween party at La Bamba, La Herradura in southern Spain last week. We had a fantastic time soaking up the autumnal sun, swimming in the sea, drinking and eating far too much and generally kicking back with Archie, his brother Louis and their parents Liz & Rink for the half-term week.

I seem to be paying the price now though, with a particularly nasty case of man flu (truth be told it's no more than a sore throat at the moment but it's got all the hallmarks of a builder so I'm bracing myself). We also spent far too much money for a one-job family, but enough of such minor irritants. On balance it was definitely worth it.

Yellowman

2009-10-25T22:02:00.002Z

Nothing much to say about this little chap, seen this afternoon outside a shop in the North Laine. I couldn't tell you what the shop sells because I was so diverted by the paint job on our friend here. It's a horrible colour, badly applied. So why does it work so well? Search me.

After hours barber

2009-10-21T22:13:00.004+01:00

Another blast from the recent past tonight. This one's been growing on me slightly since I took it on my way home from the 65daysofstatic gig where this shot was taken. My ears were ringing and I still wasn't sure if I'd caused them permanent damage - the Digital system is L O U D (thankfully it's also very good, so I escaped without any after effects). But as I strolled home, enjoying the peaceful ringing in my ears, I was looking out for photo opportunities. This was the only one I saw and I wasn't all that impressed at the time. I think I was hoping for something a bit more dramatic and gritty - something that might attract the interest of someone like the incomparable Dr Karanka on Flickr. But there were no dramas, just the quiet streets of Brighton, leading to the even quieter streets of Hove. So I made do with this scene, hoping that the door frame might act as an aesthetically pleasing divider between the east facing red chairs and those facing west. And it does. At least I think so.

Raspberry throwback

2009-10-19T22:45:00.007+01:00

I'm cutting myself a little slack here. This photo was taken at the end of August but that was a quiet month on Bah! Humbert so I'm allowing a little nostalgia to creep in. I'll let you decide for yourself whether or not this has anything to do with me feeling photographically uninspired at the moment, life being as full as it is of things that happen to be diverting me rather more.

This shot was taken in an old-fashioned Italian café at the Marina, in which one of the largest and most beautiful coffee machines I've ever seen looms like a church organ in the corner, manned by the owner of the establishment, a man who obviously takes great pride in making a damn good cup of coffee. It's the kind of place in which apron-clad waitresses swoop from table to table dispensing good cheer and amazingly dangerous looking cakes, all bathed in a golden glow produced by many spotlights hitting many beige surfaces. It reminded me of a long-gone coffee shop called Buttery One in the middle of Dover, where I used to go as a teenager with fellow public school ne'er-do-wells to sip the same cup of tea for three hours, smoke countless Marlboros and try desperately not to say the wrong thing in front of my mates.

So we sat there for a while, me and my two kids, as I remembered my adolescence and they worked their way through vast piles of home-made ice cream. It was a good afternoon.

Seafront kip

2009-10-16T17:50:00.002+01:00

It felt a little intrusive taking a photo of this couple snoozing on the seafront but it made for such a delightful image that I snapped the buggers anyway. For all I know they could have been blind drunk after an epic pub crawl or a three hour lunch, but somehow I doubt it. I prefer to think they'd been strolling around Brighton for much of the day, sat down on this seafront bench and before you know it the sea air had got the better of them. Moments after this was taken one of them probably jolted awake, gently shook the other and shared a joke about not having quite as much energy as they used to. Then they'd have helped each other to their feet and walked slowly home.

Bike porn

2009-10-10T11:32:00.003+01:00

I went to the Cycle Show at Earl's Court yesterday, feeling ever so slightly sad about the prospect of spending a day wandering around a large hall full of shiny bikes I had no intention of buying, but also quite excited (sadly enough). I thoroughly enjoyed it, just like I knew I would. I spoke at some length to the Enigma guys about theoretical future purchases of course. They told me about a man who had bought his beloved a titanium framed roadbike with diamonds inlaid into the top tube (as dots on the i of the word Enigma on either side of the tube), and with gold-plated front and rear mechs, gold tyres, and a gold chain. It was an engagement present (she said yes I believe) and amazingly it didn't look at all tacky - no idea how they pulled that off.

There were remarkable bikes everywhere, many of which I took photographs of, needless to say. But there's something about this Moulton that really caught my eye. It's the top of their range (which means it sells for about £6,000) and is made of very narrow stainless steel tubes arranged in an intricate pylon style. An amazing bike and one I'd love to own, obviously. I must be growing up though, because I returned home having spent just £10 - eight of which was on a sandwich and a pint of beer.

Playground numbers

2009-10-07T22:27:00.004+01:00

This one was taken while in a state of extreme boredom as I waited for Marni to emerge from her after school art class and Oskar played one-on-one football with his mate Jay. I need to figure out how to use the post-school hour more productively on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, when Marni's occupied and Osk just wants to kick a ball around with his mates. With all due respect to the lad's ever-growing football prowess, there are only so many times you can watch an eight year-old pretend to be a Premiership footballer and act impressed. So I ambled around the playground trying not to look like a pervert as I snapped a few interesting patterns, by far the best of which was this one.

Barking

2009-10-05T11:24:00.003+01:00

Textural fun and games today, taken during a visit to Petworth House and its magnificent parkland at the weekend. Nothing much to add to this image really, except that I like it, and that it's typical of a particular kind of photograph I seem to be taking at the moment: slightly more abstract and less conventionally composed than my usual stuff.

Bra in the gutter

2009-09-29T23:46:00.003+01:00

It's impossible, when seeing something like a discarded bra in the gutter, not to reflect on how it got there. There are many possible reasons, none of which are particularly edifying, but all of which are quite entertaining. I'll leave you to make up your own...

Prime Minister's tea time

2009-09-29T18:41:00.004+01:00

In these troubled economic and political times it's reassuring to see evidence of some old fashioned hospitality being displayed by the people of Brighton as the Labour conference hits town. The PM may be widely derided for his lack of charisma and his apparent inability to do anything right but it's good to know there's always a nice cup of tea available for him above the chip shop on Brighton seafront if he so desires.

Elsewhere, roads have been closed and a first-floor tunnel built between the Grand Hotel and the Brighton Centre, there are gun-toting policemen everywhere, traffic is permanently gridlocked, and smart-suited young people looking simultaneously earnest and smug are prowling the streets weighed down by mountains of paper, smartphones and identity tags as they strive towards a better Britain, bless them.

Centurian cyclists

2009-09-27T23:26:00.005+01:00

Ignore for a moment the unusual pose I've adopted here. Try not to think about what I might be trying to conceal. Don't dwell on the reasons behind the almost freakish jollity on the faces of my two companions either. Focus instead, if you will, on the reason this photograph was taken: I'd just finished my first 100-mile bike ride and was feeling so overwhelmingly elated that I demanded someone took a picture of me and two of the three cyclists (the third is the photographer) whose apparently limitless energy had seen me through the dark miles from Plumpton to Devil's Dyke - miles 85 to around 97 of the 100.

The Brighton 100 is a new organised ride that starts and finishes in Preston Park, taking in quite a large part of East Sussex in a huge double loop that goes through Newhaven, Lewes, Eastbourne and numerous villages in the High Weald before heading over to Hurstpierpoint and back to Brighton - with a killer climb to Devil's Dyke three miles from the end. I finished the course in a shade over six and a half hours, at an average cycling speed (ie not including the compulsory 30 minute break for lunch) of 16.7mph. I was more than pleased with this time although I confess I was slightly disappointed not to hit the 17mph average mark.

I was pushing quite hard throughout so by the time I got to the refreshment stop at Plumpton, 84 miles in, I was getting tired but feeling ok. Leaving the pub I latched onto the rear wheels of my three new friends and clung on for dear life as they careered through the countryside at a pace that was very nearly too much for me. About eight miles outside Brighton I started getting cramps in my inner thighs. Then we hit the hills heading up to Devil's Dyke. Blimey but that was hard. I reckon I would have clung on to finish come what may as we were so close to the end, but having a wheel in front of me to focus on going up those hills felt like a real lifesaver. When I got to the top of the hill and knew it was all downhill from here to the finish I was filled with an incredible sense of elation and achievement.

It's the toughest physical challenge I've taken on I think - one I've been training for for around three months. I'm delighted to have stuck to the training and I'm even more delighted to have completed the course in a respectable time without crashing, falling off or otherwise disgracing myself. I think I may be a cyclist...

Old school fun

2009-09-22T22:57:00.005+01:00

The whole idea of school reunions has always filled me with a special kind of horror. Why would anyone want to subject themselves to the inevitably unfavourable scrutiny of people they were fond of many years ago but with whom they long-since lost any meaningful connection? I assumed the bulk of any reunion would consist of career, waistline and hairline comparisons - none of which I'd emerge from with much credit. And why revisit a school where I spent a good part of my time feeling inadequate, insecure and in constant conflict with various teachers - the less said about some of whom the better?

How wrong I was. Last weekend was spent with a group of people I haven't seen in 30 years in most cases. I wasn't even all that friendly with some of them three decades ago. And yet we spent nearly three days together, meeting up in London on Friday for drinks and an evening meal, then again on Saturday at the school in Dover for lunch in our old refectory - surrounded by today's pupils no less - followed by a tour of much of the school. Then there were more drinks, another blow-out meal, more drinks, and some low-key alcohol-fuelled dramas (without which it would have been a pretty poor reunion, let's face it). On Sunday morning the brave-hearted met for breakfast at the school (I was blissfully asleep at the time - I managed a lie-in til 11.00!) a trip to the hills outside Dover where we used to meet to drink cheap wine and engage in immature pursuits, followed by yet another meal and then, finally, home.

People flew in from Australia, the US, Canada, various parts of Europe and travelled from all over the UK. There were even people at the London event who had crossed the river for the occasion!

I wouldn't swap a minute of the whole weekend. It was a fantastic celebration of timeless friendship, shared experience and joyful reminiscence. One of the most remarkable of many remarkable things about it was how effortless it was to pick up the old friendships where they'd left off. We're all older and different in many ways but the fundamentals haven't really changed. The sleazebags are still sleazebags, the diamonds still diamonds, and the feelings are just as strong as they ever were (once suitably nurtured in a hothouse of constant exposure and alcoholic lubrication). And now we've all grown up a bit we're capable of speaking to the people we never went near at school because we weren't cool enough - or because they weren't - which resulted in a whole series of new friendships. We were able to say what we meant this time - rather than muttering vague adolescent indications of how we felt about each other. The upshot of this was that I left feeling genuinely loved by these people about whom I'd stopped thinking for years until a few weeks ago, when the invitation arrived.

It was a heart-warming, life-affirming experience and I'm so glad I parked my scepticism and my nervousness and my silly misgivings. To have given in to them would have deprived me of a genuinely significant event in my life.

I took lots of photos, obviously, but I couldn't possibly pick one that did any kind of justice to the occasion so I've gone for a silly one: the really rather delicious apple crumble they served us in the refectory on Saturday lunchtime. You may feel I've tweaked the colour saturation to emphasise the yellow of that custard. You'd be wrong.

Another Marni injury

2009-09-17T19:42:00.003+01:00

Not content with splitting her head open a few months back, then breaking her arm, then getting run over by a massive piece of farmyard equipment on a steeply sloping field when we were camping, Marni has added another injury to her increasingly impressive collection. This time she fell over a chair at school and landed awkwardly. It could have been worse by all accounts (well, hers anyway): her fall was broken by Morgan, a classmate who's so robust and plucky that I didn't even think to ask how he was after the incident. Needless to say, Marni's delighted to have a proper shiner to show off. If it gets any more spectacular over the coming days I'll take another shot of it (for her you understand...)

Hasn't she got beautiful eyes though?

Wide-angle bandstand

2009-09-17T09:13:00.002+01:00

The newly refurbished bandstand on Brighton seafront has already become something of a photographic cliché so I approach it with some caution. But the sunset was beautiful last night and this couple were in just the right spot taking pictures of each other and the wide-angle lens just happened to be on the camera so I went for it anyway. Clichés are clichés for a reason after all (how clichéd was that?)

Back seat delight

2009-09-14T18:39:00.005+01:00

This was taken while travelling at some speed in my brother's VW Passat as Black Sabbath's Iron Man blared out of the speakers. We were on our way to West Wittering beach near Chichester, a place I will definitely be returning to before long I hope. It's a beautiful stretch of sand and dunes - long enough not to be crowded even when it's a scorching Saturday in mid-September and thousands of people must have had the same idea as us: to make hay while the Indian summer sun shines. We were camping, for one night only, at a site called Stubcroft Farm, not far from East Wittering. There were 11 kids, seven dads and not a mum to be seen (although Oskar and Marni's very much wanted to be there). Just as well it was just one night I think - it could have all gone very badly wrong if we'd had two nights like Saturday. Let's just say single malt whisky and leave it at that shall we? All told it was a great success - it was particularly wonderful seeing the cousins getting on so well.

65daysofstatic

2009-09-11T09:03:00.005+01:00

Good gig last night - 65daysofstatic at Digital. They were very noisy but the system at Digital is so good there were barely any after effects, thankfully. 65days are post rock or math rock or experimental or any one of a dozen other labels, but the bottom line is that they're really quite good (how's that for a new sub-genre?) I must go to more gigs during this little career hiatus of mine...

Someone described the gig thus: "...fucking phenomenal... for half an hour. Reckon they should play really short sets. It's a bit like being wanked off by someone with a death grip without achieving orgasm... feels fucking great, then a bit sore, then you wish they'd vary their grip or something. But yeah, brilliant for 30 minutes or thereabouts." Nigel liked this description so much he nicked it for his review. I like it equally so I'm nicking it for here.

090909 cooking skills

2009-09-09T18:44:00.005+01:00

A small audience mainly consisting of reasonably well to do late middle-aged women with quite fancy hairstyles was entertained this lunchtime by some cooking demonstrations at a stage outside the Churchill Centre in Brighton. I think the chefs pictured came from The Arrogant Frog.

The demos were part of the Brighton and Hove Festival of Food (or something like that), which I applaud, but which I think has some way to go before it registers on the global gastronomic calendar. Still, the food looked nice and I found some interesting looking sausages for supper, so I left happy.

A tough life

2009-09-08T19:13:00.003+01:00

Today was the first proper day of my career hiatus. Since I left my job at the end of July I've been surrounded by family, kids, holidays, festival and a lot of noise. Although the kids went back to school yesterday Rach was here for half of the day - most of which I spent on a huge bike ride in any case, so it really didn't feel any different to the holiday days that preceded it. But today was different - the family were all otherwise engaged and I had the whole day to do whatever I wanted with. So what did I do? Filing, laundry, grass-cutting and bike-fettling. It was a day of blissful mundanity. To celebrate the glorious hum drumness of it all I went for a swim in the sea before picking up the kids from school. The water's still warm enough for it not to be a balls-out masculinity test every time you jump in and the sun was beating down when I got out, so I dried myself on the beach and took photos that made my feet look odd. It's official: I'm happy.

New friend

2009-09-07T19:30:00.005+01:00

This rather intimidating dog approached me while I was eating a crayfish and prawn ciabatta with chips at a nice pub in the wonderfully named Funtingdon, a small and rather posh village near Chichester, last weekend. She sat quietly and politely, never becoming in any way pushy, but never taking her eyes off my face while I ate my lunch. She's one of those scary pit bull types so I didn't feel comfortable stroking her or even engaging with her very much because I don't generally trust dogs like her. But as time went on she won me over with her unflinching attention and eventually I started speaking to her and even stroking her a bit. She behaved impeccably throughout - but I still didn't give her any food. I do so love dogs - even the intimidating ones it seems.

We were in the area to spend some time walking in the country, eating posh food and generally being away from the kids for a day or two to mark our anniversary. It was a delightful weekend that left us aching worthily from our walking exertions, but also thoroughly toxic thanks to the rather excessive blow-out we enjoyed on the Saturday night. I paid my penance in full today by embarking on a 77-mile bike ride that's almost completely incapacitated me - but which has also made me feel incredibly virtuous.

Ten years on

2009-09-06T12:58:00.002+01:00

This weekend was spent celebrating our tenth wedding anniversary. So really there's only one photo I can reasonably post today - even though I didn't take it, not the original anyway. It's just a photo of a photo, complete with glare from the glass. But it's also one of my favourite photos. It looks like something David Bailey would have taken in the sixties if you ask me, and it captures the happiness of that amazing day better than any of the other several thousand shots - all taken by my mate Jon Rigby, an excellent (professional) photographer and a jolly nice chap to boot.

First panorama

2009-09-02T18:20:00.004+01:00

I've never done one of these before. It's quite fun in a labour-intensive kind of way. I'm sure it wouldn't take much to fine tune this one so it's not quite so screamingly obvious where one photo ends and the next one starts but there's something appealing about the joins being obvious. In fact I thought long and hard before deciding not to include the jagged edges, Hockney-style, as though the photographs had just been thrown together.

This (or these I suppose) was (were) taken just outside Abbotsbury in Dorset, from where we've just returned from our annual holiday. It was a triumph, thank goodness. After last year's total wash-out I'm not sure we could have survived another rainy holiday. Camping in the English countryside in good weather is almost as good as it gets if you ask me - doing so in relentless downpours is something approaching hell on earth.

Note that I'm making no apologies for being away for such a long time. There's just no point!

Another Chill shot

2009-08-13T18:23:00.004+01:00

I quite like this one - for me it captures some of the peace of being outside at a festival at night as well as some of the excitement of being inside one of the tents. This is the Coop, although why they didn't just call it the club tent and be done with it I don't know, because that's what it was. This is where the Horsemeat Disco team did their thing after Orbital had rocked the whole festival on Saturday night. HMD are into their good-time, old-school dance music - they played some Michael Jackson and some famous (and some obscure) late-70s disco as well as some more up to date stuff. Most of it worked a treat, although even my Catholic tastes were stretched to the limit by their finale: Down in Africa by Toto. Hmmm. If you ask me there are some guilty pleasures, then there are some tunes that really ought to be allowed to rest in peace. Down in Africa falls into the second category, no doubt about it.

Woodland mystery

2009-08-12T19:48:00.004+01:00

Where could this lead I wonder... Well actually I know, but I'm going to let you guess. I found it in the woods within the Sussex Wildlife Trust's grounds near Henfield, where the kids were learning how to wreak bonfire havoc with minimal parental help. I still can't quite believe we paid for this privilege but there you go...

Zombie wickerman

2009-08-11T10:38:00.004+01:00

We went to the Big Chill at the weekend. I've been at least five or six times over the years but never to the current venue - Eastnor Castle in Herefordshire. It's grown a lot since I last went. There's capacity for 35,000 people these days and it never used to be more than 5,000 or 6,000 as far as I can recall. I worried that this might be a bad thing but it's not. The variety and vibrance of a festival that big is always going to be more interesting and they've been going for such a long time now that the organisation is pretty much perfect. We barely had to queue all weekend, everything happened when it was supposed to, getting in and out was incredibly easy... all the little incidental things that can erode your patience and start making a difference to the amount you enjoy a festival were very well taken care of. The kids had a great time and, thanks to a free pass on Saturday night from my saintly and awe-inspiring wife, so did I. I'm paying for it now a bit but that kind of comes with the territory. At least I haven't got Monday morning in the office to worry about.

This is a picture of the enormous zombie wickerman effigy that was burned on Sunday night, after we'd gone home. There was a zombie theme this year, which we didn't know about and which very nearly derailed the whole thing as it freaked out the kids to the extent that they both wanted to come home pretty much straight away. But hey - that was never going to happen.

Just dessert

2009-08-04T21:51:00.003+01:00

This is a turning point dessert. It's a decent sized bowl full of chocolate brownies covered in hot chocolate sauce and rich chocolate ice cream, with a desultory raspberry on top that seems to be laughing in the face of healthy eating. I ate this at lunchtime yesterday. I ate it quickly and without guilt. I knew it was wrong but I ate it anyway. "Today is the first day of the rest of my life", I said to myself (rather pleased with my originality). "If you're not allowed to eat something like this today then when are you?" I didn't take much persuading.

And yet ever since I licked the last little smudge from the least accessible corner of the bowl I've been feeling slightly sick. At first I thought it was just a momentary blip -- my body issuing a well-intentioned warning not to consume desserts like this too often. But then I went for a walk, then a bike ride, then I ate again, then I slept. And still I felt a little sick now, more than 30 hours later. I hope I'm not coming down with some bug. But then I also hope I won't be affected like this every time I decide to push the gastronomic boat out a little. I think that would be even worse.

On my first day of freedom

2009-08-04T11:21:00.003+01:00

I am now officially unemployed, which feels very odd. On my first day of freedom I drove the family to Hawkhurst, where we enjoyed a very nice lunch with my parents before heading to Bodiam Castle on a whim. I'd never heard of it before but it's a lovely place -- made all the lovelier by the glorious weather and the absence of screaming hordes. I don't know if we were just lucky or if it's always so peaceful there. If it is I think I've found a new favourite place for picnics, ambling around with old people, and general mooching. This one's been Photoshopped a little -- there were a couple of other figures visible, but I thought it would work much better without them.

Hat-flipping escapologist

2009-07-26T19:14:00.003+01:00

I caught about 20 minutes of this guy on The Lawns yesterday. His main act is escapology but the real shtick was his humour, which was irresistible. There must have been 200 or 300 people watching him and I reckon everyone there had a continuous chuckle going on throughout his act. He was effortlessly amusing - appealing to toddlers, drunks, grandparents, families and passing cyclists equally it seemed to me - a genuine entertainer. Not half bad as an escapologist either. The only thing he wasn't so great at was catching a hat flipped from his foot while in chains at the top of a ladder. It took him at least four attempts to catch it.

Tweaked subway family

2009-07-23T23:30:00.005+01:00

I won't make a habit of this, promise, but I'm reposting a picture I used on here just two posts ago because I'm so gobsmacked by the effect a few Photoshop tweaks have made to it. I'd taken the colour out of the original shot on a whim. Then I tweaked the levels a bit and reposted it on Flickr. My mate Dave (the legendary Disco Dave 2000 that is) saw it and made a few suggestions: clone out this, tweak that, add a shadow here... And I thought he might have a point, so I went ahead and made the changes. This is what emerged - suddenly I think I have a new favourite photograph (of my own I mean...let's not get carried away). I particularly like the converging curved lines, the texture on the walls and the mystery that lies beyond the bright light...

Monochrome beacon

2009-07-20T15:56:00.004+01:00

This was very ordinary until I took the colour out of it and tweaked the levels a bit. I really like it now - especially those crazy cloud shapes. I'd like something eye-catching in the foreground but you can't have everything can you?

If I'd managed to get my act together sufficiently to capture this shot of a touring tandem couple properly I'd have used it instead of this one, but I still had my aperture shut right down for the landscape and forgot to check it so they came out all blurred. I wish I could say that'll teach me but the disappointing truth of the matter is that it won't. I guarantee I'll make that mistake again.

Subway family

2009-07-19T23:41:00.003+01:00

This is what you want from a point & shoot: the confidence that you can just point it and shoot without stroking your chin for ten minutes over white balance and ISO settings, and still get something serviceable at the other end. I'm sure the D90 could have handled the challenging light conditions just as well on auto mode, but then so it should being twice the price and all that - and that's without a lens. So all told I'm pleased with the Ricoh so far - even though I'm still half convinced I should have gone for the RX200. But then I may have just got tied up in the purist photography options it offers and missed this shot altogether.

Eating dad's face

2009-07-18T23:45:00.003+01:00

The inestimable Nigel Bailey has his left cheek chewed by his son Nicky on Hove lawns this afternoon. After weeks of nothing but dad-on-dad action the two tribes finally got together today and I think I can safely say it all went very well. The highpoint had to be Nigel's 15-hit keepy-uppy display, which left Oskar's mind well and truly boggled. I didn't like to upstage my new friend so I feigned incompetence - rather successfully I think. Too successfully perhaps...

Marni bounces back

2009-07-15T19:40:00.003+01:00

Just eight weeks after breaking her arm in a nasty fall from this very trampoline - and six weeks after it was reset rather excruciatingly - Marni is back doing what she does best: risking life and limb. We waited three hours for the privilege of seeing a consultant for all of five minutes yesterday. It was infuriating but there's no point in complaining is there? Or maybe there is...perhaps I should fire off a stroppy letter for a change. Do you know what? I think I will!

More aerial shenanigans

2009-07-14T21:59:00.002+01:00

It's not every day you get the chance to take some photos from a basket hanging under a crane nearly 200 feet above Brighton beach so I'm sure you'll forgive me for using one more from the weekend's bungee shoot (get me, I'm calling it a 'shoot'). In fact I reserve the right to use more of these if the mood takes me and I don't find anything fresher to offer. I very much look forward to spending some time really getting to know the new camera properly and then practising with it. Right now I feel somewhat out of my depth - both with the camera and the new wide-angle lens - but I'm seeing this as an opportunity to learn stuff, once the pesky job is behind me.

One Giant Leap...

2009-07-13T17:11:00.005+01:00

I took something like 450 pictures of a sponsored bungee jump on Saturday, which sounds a bit excessive until you realise that I was there in a semi-official capacity at the request of the organiser. It felt strange and quite nice to be referred to as 'Martin the photographer' but it reminded me of my early days as a newspaper reporter when my toes used to curl with embarrassment whenever anyone referred to me as a journalist. Eventually that became as natural as breathing. Perhaps the photographer thing will too eventually.

I was never going to do a jump myself, obviously (sometimes a dodgy back makes life nice and simple) but I did go up in the crane to watch a few brave souls hurl themselves into oblivion at close quarters - like the one pictured. It's a very brave thing to do I reckon - there's a moment where you just have to swallow the madness and the fear and do the most counter-intuitive thing in the world... Except I'm not sure it is. I was talking to the chap in the basket who does the encouraging and, ultimately, if people agree, the pushing, and he reckons there's something in us that really wants to hurl ourselves off tall things. It's the same impulse that makes vertigo so sickeningly irresistible. And I know what he means...kind of.

By the way, yesterday's craziness was all in aid of an interesting initiative. The Thinking Men's Project is a charity geared towards helping men who need help, in a nutshell. There's a much more sensible explanation on this web page.

Messing about with DoF

2009-07-08T19:55:00.003+01:00

This isn't a terribly exciting image I grant you but I've never had a lens that'll do this before so you'll have to bear with me while I play around with it a bit. This is the new 35mm f1.8 (on the D90, natch), wide open in the gloom to get a nice shallow depth of field. I love this effect - now all I have to do is find something a little more interesting to practise on.

Boy in field

2009-07-06T13:48:00.003+01:00

More wide-angled madness from the weekend. I can't decide if the sun streaks on this photo add or detract from it. I think on balance the latter, but when I showed this shot to Oskar (our model) he said he thought it was the best thing about it. Perhaps he's right. Those hills in the background are the Malverns, which are apparently delightful walking country - would love to test out that theory one of these days.

New toy!

2009-07-05T23:02:00.003+01:00

It's not about the camera or the lens, we all know that. It's about the moment captured and the memory saved. Sometimes it's even about the art (although rarely in my case). Nonetheless it is a happy day when one finds the wherewithal to add some shiny photographic kit to the small but growing pile of slightly less shiny kit. Despite my intellectual side pouring scorn on the idea, the childish insecure sad side of me thinks 'This [insert camera/lens/widget name here] is what I needed! Now, at last, I can fulfil my artistic potential! Etc etc'. So it was with some excitement that I stepped out on Friday with my new Nikon D90 complete with a new Sigma 10-20mm lens. Both will take some mastering I think - I ended up feeling much more comfortable using the (also new) Nikon 35mm lens instead, but I saw glimpses of what's possible with the Sigma and I'm very excited about spending some time trying to pursue it.

Time to change the flowers perhaps?

2009-06-28T18:27:00.003+01:00

There's something utterly splendid about sunflowers that have passed their sell-by date. There comes a time when you have no choice but to bin them of course, but in the three or four days leading up to that unhappy moment I find the magnificence of their decrepitude completely irresistible. They're like flamboyant old theatrical heart-throbs living on former glories.

Due South reception from above

2009-06-27T00:09:00.004+01:00

In haste tonight because I'm tired and I want to go to bed (and I had a little drink about ten minutes ago...) but here's another aerial shot of the outside area at Due South. I say 'another' but I'm actually not sure whether I've used one on here before. I quite like the wonky perspective on this one. I straightened it in Lightroom rather than twisting myself so completely off the pavement above the restaurant that I fell into the ice bucket - seemed sensible at the time. And of course the shadows work for me too.

Poppies

2009-06-25T22:56:00.003+01:00

This one pretty much does what it says on the tin. It's a field of poppies. I was hoping to get something better, frankly, but the light was drearily flat for most of the time I was there, and there have been just so many poppy shots appearing on Flickr that I felt devoid of fresh ideas. I might try again before they disappear but it'll mean heading up there around 9 on a clear evening I think, not before 6 on and overcast one, as I did today. Still, they can't all be masterpieces can they? (I've got a horrible feeling I've resorted to that line before...)

Scary bike

2009-06-24T22:42:00.002+01:00

Yet another apparently fruitless amble along the seafront revealed a golden picture opportunity the other day, when this rather distinguished chap rode past on his unfeasibly tall bike. I was intrigued by what he'd do when the time came to dismount but I'm afraid the answer's rather prosaic: he simply swung a leg over the back of the saddle so he was hanging off one side of the bike, then tilted it until it was safe to skip off sideways. The manoeuvre was dexterous but undramatic so I won't dwell on it. But I wouldn't fancy trying it in traffic...

Superman saves the day

2009-06-22T15:53:00.005+01:00

Superman fearlessly rushed to the assistance of a lady in distress while the lady's over-heated looking dog watched proceedings with a somewhat supercilious air from the comfort of her bike rack. The lady in question had been multi-tasking furiously: talking into her phone, balancing the top-heavy bike and negotiating her way across a busy bike lane (it was the London to Brighton ride yesterday - there were more cyclists around than you could shake a stick at). It went wrong when the back of the bike started going over. Reluctant to allow her idle dog to be injured in the fall, the noble lady allowed her phone to drop instead as she made a grab for the handlebars. Alas, the phone was trashed, but Superman helped her pick up the pieces and gave her a little pep talk on health and safety issues before flying off to the next crisis.

Double portrait

2009-06-18T08:13:00.002+01:00

I think Simon might be slightly happier with this shot than Annie. She said as much just after I'd taken it and of course she's right. But I have limited sympathy - they're both so sickeningly photogenic that it can only be in the interests of fairness and balance that one or two dodgy shots appear every now and then. And anyway, the happiness is there for anyone to see (as am I, unfortunately).

Seaside diva

2009-06-14T23:18:00.002+01:00

We spent much of today sipping lager in the sunshine on the beach, to mark the 40-somethingth birthday of Mrs humbert15, bless her. Our day was made all the more special by the arrival of this charming creature, who set up shop not ten yards from us and sang various arias to seafront passers-by. She had an amazingly good voice - and a wicked sense of humour. When someone tried to take her photo she pulled various hideous faces as she sang - never missing a note mind you - to spoil their shots. Luckily she did no such thing when I approached her - perhaps it because I gave her a quid...

Snapper's delight

2009-06-13T20:42:00.004+01:00

I went to a Brighton Flickr group beach barbecue last night and had a great time. There were many good photographers there, some very interesting cameras, and some very nice actual people too. I didn't take many photos for some reason - not sure why really, perhaps I was intimidated by the sheer weight of photographic experience on that beach. Or perhaps I was just having too good a time. I did get this one though - that sky was a truly amazing colour and the clouds were swirling in the most extraordinary patterns. This doesn't do it any kind of justice but it still looks pretty good. It takes a lot to persuade me to photograph anything sunset related on the seafront these days because it's all been done before so many times, but this one seemed justified. I hope you agree.

Birthday girl

2009-06-11T23:16:00.004+01:00

The blog pic choice was a no brainer today: it's Marni's sixth birthday! So of course we had waffles and strawberries for breakfast, and to be frank I wouldn't recommend them. It was a very sickly and insubstantial meal and I felt both hungry and bloated about ten minutes after I'd finished. Nothing wrong with the strawberries, obviously, and I'm sure there'd be nothing wrong with top notch waffles either, but these were Bird's Eye. Nuff said there I think.

There are plenty more photos of the happy event on my Flickr pages in case you're interested. But in a nutshell, it was a lovely day, Marni was happy as Larry with her gifts, and one of them - a hamster who was originally going to be called Hovis but who is unfortunately now more likely to end up being called Georgina or Gizmo - is curled up in a rather cute little ball downstairs as I type. Happy days.

Venerable old A-1

2009-06-10T19:33:00.005+01:00

This old beauty is now more than a quarter of a century old. A photographer called Phil gave it to me for nothing when we were both working at the Dover Express newspaper - my first employer. I was a trainee news reporter on the Express for a couple of years and probably learned more there than I have anywhere else - school and university included. It was a great place to work, even though I was only paid something like £5K when I started. I'm beginning to sound like a Hovis ad now, so I'll move on.

The A-1 was my only camera for years. I've taken thousands of very bad photos with it, a couple of hundred decent ones and maybe a handful of excellent ones. Its proudest moment was probably when it nearly got me killed on our honeymoon. We were on safari in South Africa and keeping as quiet as we could in a hide near a watering hole in the hope that some decent sized beasts would show up. Sure enough, a massive bull elephant came to drink and of course I took his picture. The trouble was that the shutter was so loud he heard it - more importantly, it really pissed him off. His ears started flapping, he stamped his foot and started swaying in a rather obviously agitated way. Then he did a couple of little mock charges, which filled me with fear - a fear that became almost blind terror when I realised that our hitherto rather cocksure guide was also bricking it. He actually advised us to start running away if memory serves, which can't be the best thing to do when faced with a charging elephant, surely.

Anyway, we survived, obviously, and the A-1 continues to function perfectly well despite being chucked in a cupboard for the past decade, a victim of my infatuation with digital photography. I wonder if any of the fancy-arsed digital cameras I've owned and plan to own in the future would be so forgiving.

Glass filler

2009-06-09T19:01:00.003+01:00

No time for snapping for three days and counting now - not good enough really. So here's another oldie to fill the gaping hole in cyberspace until I get my act together. It was taken a few months ago on another desperate day when I thought there'd be no photographic fruit. On that occasion I had the gumption to pick up the camera and wander around the house for a bit until inspiration struck - and I have to say I quite like the result. It's not an amazing shot but it's certainly interesting, which was a bonus on such an unpromising day.

Today I actually have a pretty good excuse for not getting out there snapping. I was taking my daughter to her very first fracture clinic, where she was pumped full of entonox and had her broken arm manipulated back into some sort of semblance of straightness. The radius just above her wrist was at a 25 degree angle (should have been straight) so it seemed like a good idea at the time but it was a difficult thing to be all solid and paternal about - seeing a five year old giggling on N2O one minute and then howling in pain as a burly orthopaedic surgeon presses hard right on the point where you know her arm's broken is a tough one. Still, it's only bent by 15 degrees now, so I think we'd all agree it was worth it (specially Marni, who got a bag of sweets out of the deal).

Drummer from above

2009-06-06T17:57:00.003+01:00

This turned out a little better than expected. I think I have the cymbals to thank. It's truly amazing how much there is to photograph on the seafront. However grey the day, however sparse the crowds, however devoid ones head is of inspiration, nine times out of ten something turns up. Today the weather's not that great, I'm feeling slightly below par (as you may be able to tell due to this scintillating prose), the crowds have stayed away and I hadn't a clue what I was going to come home with. Then I walked along the path above the Gemini and heard this band playing - they weren't bad either...

We also joined the library today. I'm slightly embarrassed and ashamed to say it hadn't occurred to us before now - eight years after moving down to Brighton. We've been shelling out on books that get read once and then effectively discarded, but something had to give because Osk is now reading at a fairly scary rate - he got through four thick junior James Bond books inside the last month - so we had to find a way to stop the growing cost of feeding his habit. It's a very photogenic building once you're inside so I think I'll try to get permission to take some shots there. It may not be possible but it's certainly worth asking.

Seagull

2009-06-06T00:19:00.004+01:00

Well, you know. If you live in Brighton you've got to take the odd shot of seagulls. I think everyone starts off hating them, then moves towards accepting them, then kind of admires them, before finally loving the ornery fekkers. If you need any help moving on from the hate phase, just pop down to the seafront on a stormy day. As you snuggle into your waterproofs and bow into the wind, seeking out places to shelter from the weather, you may just spot the gulls dipping and diving and skimming the thrashing water with their wingtips. And if you didn't know better you'd swear they were laughing with the sheer visceral joy of it all. There's no way they're just surviving out there - they're playing, damn it. That's when the respect starts to kick in. We're visitors here; they own the gaff. All power to them.

Sunset bikes

2009-06-03T19:10:00.004+01:00

Back on that shadow theme again. It would have been good to capture the full bike shadow image on the ramp in the foreground and maybe have slightly less clutter in the image as a whole but I do like the setting sunlight on the huts and the graffiti wall below them. I think this one would have been improved if I'd stuck around a little longer too - both to get a richer, redder, sunlight and to catch some gnarlier jumping. But hey ho, I was on my way to a bowl of chilli and a subtitled movie and missions don't get much more serious than that.

I really feel lucky about the number of opportunities there are for photography around my way - you could really go in any direction around dusk at this time of year and find something amazing within a 10-minute cycle.

Flying parrot

2009-06-02T19:11:00.002+01:00

A photo-free day today, more's the pity, so here's one I made earlier. It was taken after the children's parade at the start of last month as we walked wearily towards our lunch after traipsing around the streets of Brighton for a couple of hours - in Madge and Marni's case dressed as zebras, if memory serves. There was so much colour and noise and childish excitement around that it would have been easy to miss this parrot and I reckon I might well have done so if she hadn't been screaming quite so loud as she flew higher and higher. It would be better if you could see a bit more detail on her costume, I suppose, but I quite like the shapes created by the ropes, struts and vapour trails.

Rusty rack of ruin

2009-06-01T15:38:00.002+01:00

This must surely be the saddest clothes drying rack in Christendom. We've had it for at least a decade and it seems we're incapable of getting rid of the blessed thing. Because it is such a sad object it now lives in the garden - where, of course, the pace of its deterioration has picked up considerably. But for some reason when I'm doing one of my regular eagle-eyed scans of the garden to identify things to go to the dump (woe betide any toy left outside when I'm on a dump scan) it always escapes. I fear there may be some sort of emotional attachment I'm reluctant to acknowledge for some deep-seated reason.

Bubble burst moment

2009-05-31T22:30:00.002+01:00

I was aiming for a good bubble image with this and about 100 other shots today but it just didn't happen. If you click on this one and view it full size, though, you'll see from the hundreds of tiny droplets that I've luckily caught the moment a bubble burst. Thankfully, Marni has a vaguely suitable expression on her face too. So this one will do I think.

Seafront shadows

2009-05-31T00:13:00.002+01:00

I was thinking today, as I randomly strolled around looking for photographic inspiration, how much easier it would be to decide what to photograph if I had some sort of overarching theme to bear in mind. And that's when it struck me how much I like shadows - the way they change things, how completely we take them for granted, the depth they give to textured surfaces, and so on. So maybe that's something I'll bear in mind the next time I'm randomly strolling around looking for photographic inspiration. Or maybe not. We'll see.