Hell on earth

I remember when Toys R Us represented the closest thing to hell on earth that Hove had to offer.

We used to dread going there so much that we almost never did. It wasn't the rampaging kids charging around the place; it wasn't the prospect of spending too much money on tat that would fall apart within a week; it wasn't even the deadness you saw in the eyes of everyone who works there or the bored terror in the eyes of all those parents.

No, it was the indecision - Oskar could never decide what to buy with his pocket money. Unless we'd identified something specific before setting off we would all be condemned to a nightmarish hour or more during which his frustration and uncertainty and confusion would steadily grow to the point that he would burst into tears of desperation and become incapable of speech, never mind narrowing down a shortlist of 14 toys.

So it was with some trepidation that I took both kids there today. To make matters worse we set off at around 11.30 - a classic time for blood sugar levels to start dipping, tempers to shorten and decision-making capabilities to evaporate. We had to be back by 12.15 at the latest too, to give us enough time for lunch before he went to a birthday party at 1.00. So, some time pressure and pre-socialising butterflies to add to the mix.

It was a recipe for disaster - but there was no disaster! Miraculously, both kids were happy to wait in parts of the shop that didn't interest them while their sibling scanned the shelves. Marni decided quickly that she was going to buy the largest toy dog I believe I've ever seen. His name's Sammie and you can see him here. He's so huge that a cull of soft toys was required to accommodate him in Marni's over-stuffed bedroom.

Meanwhile Oskar was waiting patiently for his turn and finding it tricky to decide but there was no agitation, just careful thought. Eventually he chose a discounted Wii game that probably involves a bit too much violence, strictly speaking, but I was so relieved he'd decided that I was prepared to look the other way for once.